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My blog used to be rated PG. But now it's rated G.

You can trust your kids with me. Really.

The Real Overpopulation Problem in India

When you think about India, you think about cheap labor. You think about Bindi Masala or Palak Paneer. You think about your last call to the Dell help desk. You think about a country expected to be the world's most populous by the year 2050.

When you think about India, you don't think about wild monkeys. But you should. Because wild monkeys are a real problem in India, especially around Delhi. As Delhi expands, with half a million new residents moving in every year, the green areas in and around the capital, which for centuries have been the monkeys’ habitat, grow smaller. Their territory encroached on, many monkeys uproot to settle in the city center.

This was especially bad news for Delhi's Deputy Mayor, Sawinder Singh Bajwa, 52, who was reading a paper on his balcony on a Sunday morning in late October when four monkeys appeared. As he brandished a stick to scare them away, he lost his balance and fell to his death, his son said.


It took the death of the deputy mayor to inject new vitality into the removal drive. The mayor, Aarti Mehra, said in a telephone interview that “after the incident, the process has really speeded up.” Already, she said, 35 municipal monkey catchers have been hired, divided into five teams across the city. Over the next few months, a total of 100 will be working in 14 teams, she said. She estimated, however, that 20,000 to 25,000 monkeys still had to be caught.

Maybe they can outsource some of those monkey-hunting jobs to some laid-off American workers. Bank of New York Mellon Corporation CEO Robert Kelly would be an especially good fit.

American Idol Could Take Over Pittsburgh Public Schools in 2008

According to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review (the Pittsburgh newspaper that's not one of America's Great Newspapers) the Pennsylvania Department of Education could take over the Pittsburgh Public Schools if they can't get their act together by 2008.

Ronald Cowell, better known as "Simon Cowell", president of the Education Policy and Leadership Center, a nonprofit organization based in Harrisburg, said that the state had struggled with relatively small districts like Duquesne and Chester-Upland. He said that the education scene in Pittsburgh has no future.

Fortunately, no education is needed to succeed in America's most visible Talent Search, American Idol. So Cowell suggested that we just ditch the the education charade put on by the Pittsburgh Public Schools and replace it by a program to prep kids for American Idol auditions.

Of course, not everyone can succeed on American Idol. So some of the money that the state is throwing into the system will be used to provide each student with a Powerball stipend that will maximize the chances for success.

Los Angeles and Nashville school systems are watching the Pittsburgh Experiment closely to see if similar reforms would benefit their schools.

John Bolton Supports Musharraf

According to a New York Times article, former U.S. Ambassador (and pains me to write that) said that the United States should support President Gen. Pervez Musharraf to prevent Pakistan's nuclear arsenal from falling into the hands of Islamic fundamentalists or al-Qaida terrorists.

So much for saying that our purpose in the Middle East and surrounding areas is to spread Democracy.

South Korean Man's Toilet is his Castle

Step aside, Eljer, Kohler, and American Standard. Sim Jae-duck has made his political career as South Korea's Mr. Toilet by beautifying public restrooms. Now he's got a home befitting his title: a toilet-shaped domicile complete with the latest in lavatory luxury.

Sim is building the two-story house set to be finished Sunday to commemorate the inaugural meeting later this month of the World Toilet Association. The group, supported by the South Korean government, aims no less than to launch a "toilet revolution," by getting people to open their bathroom doors for the sake of improving worldwide hygiene.

"The toilet revolution should start with talking about toilet issues freely," said Song Young-kwon, head of the organizing committee for the five-day conference that opens Nov. 21.

The Seoul conference will be accompanied by a toilet expo featuring exhibits to excite the public about the cause: including a "Hansel and Gretel" bathroom made from cookies and candy that gives presents to children when they flush, and a "toilet gallery cafe" where people can sit on colorful commodes while drinking tea.

"Toilets stand central to people's lives," Sim said as workers scurried to put the finishing touches on the home - including installing the final toilet inside.

The toilet theme is central to the house named Haewoojae, or a "place to solve one's worries," shaped like a 24 1/2-foot-tall toilet bowl. Thinking of how to push forward his cause of having better hygiene and sanitation, Sim tore down his former home to build the $1.1 million building.

All of the toilet's toilets will have self-lowering seats to prevent complaints from female houseguests.

Scott's Spot is investigating rumors that Sim has licensed Ryan Homes to construct an identical model in Flushing, NY.

Buy a Bra - Save a Tree

Style. Sexiness. Environmental Consciousness. And a full belly. Life used to be full of compromises. But now, you can have all. All you need is the My Hashi Bra, or, My Chopstick Bra.

Made by bra maker Triumph International, the My Hashi Bra comes with collapsible chopsticks stashed inside the body of the brassiere.

Triumph spokesperson Hiromi Shinta said: "Its small step, but because many Japanese chopsticks are disposable, big chunks of forests are being cut down. So we thought we could help promote the use of 'My Chopsticks' and help cut down on disposable chopsticks."

People in Japan throw away an estimated 25 billion pairs of wooden chopsticks every year. Here is a chance to get some chopsticks that won't be thrown away. In fact, they may be treasured keepsakes.

Watch the video below to get the full scoop...

Now that's an uplifting story!

Hey Look! Things Are Getting Good!

Finally, Britney Spears' mom has taken responsibility for her daughter.

"I blame myself," says Lynne Spears, speaking to Life & Style Weekly magazine. "What mother wouldn't?"

"I wish I'd been there more while she was touring," Spears says. "But I couldn't be. I had the other kids to look after."

Spears, the mother of three children with ex-husband Jamie Spears, is writing a memoir about raising her family in the public eye. "Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World" is set for release May 11, which is Mother's Day.

"I didn't raise my children to have Hollywood careers. This all just exploded in my face, and big dreams became big headaches," says Spears, who recently reconciled with her 25-year-old pop singer-daughter after a period of estrangement.

Britney Spears, a tabloid fixture thanks to her public blunders and turbulent personal life, was ordered last month to temporarily surrender custody of her sons, Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, to ex-husband Kevin Federline.

"Here are two parents who care about their kids," Spears says. "They're good people. With my daughter's, Kevin's and the boys' interest at heart, I'm trying my best to bring them together, to bridge the gap. I think things are getting good."

"Britney loves her kids from the pit of her soul," she says.

The Paparazzi Division of Scott's Spot will be checking things out to see if things are getting good or not.

How Straight Was Your Ticket?

The final vote tally is in for Allegheny County, Pennsylvania, where Pittsburgh is located. The results? There were 69,201 mindless straight party voters in the election. That's right! 27% of the total ballots cast were straight party! This is exactly the kind of thing that gets people like Luke Ravenstahl elected Mayor of Pittsburgh.

Here's how the straight ticket vote broke down by party:

                                            VOTES PERCENT

PRECINCTS COUNTED (OF 1320)  .  .  .  .     1,320  100.00
REGISTERED VOTERS - TOTAL .  .  .  .  .   894,156
BALLOTS CAST - TOTAL.  .  .  .  .  .  .   259,126
VOTER TURNOUT - TOTAL  .  .  .  .  .  .             28.98

STRAIGHT PARTY COLUMN
VOTE FOR NOT MORE THAN )  1

DEMOCRATIC (DEM) .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .    52,239   75.49
REPUBLICAN (REP) .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .    15,526   22.44
CONSTITUTION (CON)  .  .  .  .  .  .  .         3
GATEWAY SCHOOL BOARD (GSB).  .  .  .  .       203     .29
INDEPENDENT (IND).  .  .  .  .  .  .  .       113     .16
INDEPENDENTS FOR MAS (IMA).  .  .  .  .       294     .42
LIBERTARIAN (LIB).  .  .  .  .  .  .  .        98     .14
REFORM (REF)  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .       639     .92
SOCIALIST WORKERS (SOC).  .  .  .  .  .        86     .12

According to the map below, Pennsylvania is one of only 17 states that still permit straight party voting. Now there's something that needs to be changed!

Goodbye, Wedgies!

The wedgie. Your worst high school fear. Or one of the worst, at least.

But you can kiss your fears goodbye. According to an Ananova article, eight-year-old twin inventors have developed wedgie-proof underpants.

Jared and Justin Serovich, from Los Angeles, call their creation the Rip Away 1000.

The waistband of the pants is held on by velcro and comes away in a bully's hands if a wedgie is attempted.

"When the person tries to grab you like the bully or the person tries to give you a wedgie they just rip away," Justin explained on the Ellen DeGeneres Show.

The project got the boys to the finals of a central Ohio invention competition earlier this year, followed by the TV appearance.

Finally, there is hope for American Innovation.

Bush Announces Emergency Expansion of Homeland Surveillance Program

President Bush today announced the expansion of his "Talk is Cheap" Domestic Surveillance Program.

Musharraf, Bush, and Martial Law

According to a Reuters report, President George W. Bush has not telephoned Pakistani leader Pervez Musharraf since he imposed emergency rule and cracked down on protesters in a crisis that the White House on Tuesday called a "mistake."

Here at Scott's Spot, we're fairly sure that Bush, or maybe one of his aides, is able to find his phone. So we're forced to conclude that Bush secretly supports Musharraf, and is trying to figure out how he can expand martial here before what's left of the constitution forces him to step aside.

British Airways Changes Name to British Open Airways

British Airways today announced that it will not allow surfboards and other large sporting goods equipment to be shipped in its baggage holds. Golf clubs, which are heavier and bulkier than surfboards, are still allowed, due to the heavier economic clout of their owners.

Allowed (Old Man Sporting Goods)

Golf Clubs
Bowling Balls
Bicycles (but probably not mountain bikes)

Banned (extreme non-executive sports)

Surfboards
Kayaks
Canoes
Windsurfing equipment
Vaulting poles
Javelins
Hang Gliders

They probably banned hang gliders because, with today's flight delays, they were afraid of the competition.

Axe Wielding Serial Killer on Hanover Advent Calendar

The Advent Calendar. You light a candle. Read a passage from the Bible. Contemplate the coming birth of Christ. Maybe say a prayer. A very nice tradition. No axes, and no serial killers. But the Hanover, Germany, Advent Calendar, sold in Hanover's tourism offices, shows a different side to the observance of Advent.

As you can see from the picture, the Hanover Advent Calendar includes a picture of axe wielding serial killer Fritz Haarmann, according to an Ananova article. Head of the Hanover tourism board, Hans-Christian Nolte, has defended the calendar, saying: "He is part of our city's history. Even on guided tours the serial killer's story is told."

While it may be true that Haarmann is part of Hanover's history, it is not one worth celebrating on the city's Advent calendar. If you're not convinced, you should read about the crimes committed by Haarmann (known as The Butcher of Hanover) here.

Joe Hardy Scares Us With New Halloween Trick

It's Halloween, and, if you're a financially-strapped father from Western Pennsylvania, you're probably asking the perennial question: "Should I allow my daughter to trick-or-treat at Joe Hardy's House?" The good news is that the answer is yes, if your daughter is less than 22. If she's a 22-year-old, then maybe the answer is YES INDEED, because there's a distinct possibility that she's going to be bringing some money into the double-wide.

Last May, 84-year-old Hardy, founder of 84 Lumber, married his 3rd wife, Kristin Georgi. He sued for divorce just 3 months later. But he's apparently not a lonely old man. According to an article published by WTAE-TV, which calls itself "The Pittsburgh Channel", Hardy is being romantically linked to 22-year-old Danielle Golden, of Dunbar, Pennsylvania, whose relatives said she is smitten with Hardy. You can check out her MySpace here.

What kind of nonsense is that? If she's smitten with anything, it's with the possibility of getting some of Hardy's millions. He has been quoted as saying "I want to die broke. For the remainder of my life, I want to enjoy and participate in the giving of money to help improve people's lives."

The Wealth Squandering Department at Scott's Spot believes that his strategy to do this is centered on finding 22-year-old chicks to give all his money to.