Friday, September 18, 2015

Brother, Can You Change a Ten-Spot?

The GOP candidates were asked about which woman they'd choose to be on the $10 bill, since the Treasury has announced that a woman will replace Alexander Hamilton in 2020.
  1. Rand Paul: Susan B Anthony      Good choice. I’m sure they would have let her vote if she could produce a government-issued daguerreotype ID.
  2. Mike Huckabee: My wife      A very good choice. Because she was going to disclose his Ashley Madison password if he didn’t pick her.
  3. Marco Rubio: Rosa Parks      Good choice. Even though Parks and her husband attended meetings of the Alabama Communist Party.
  4. Ted Cruz: would change the $20, Parks      Hey, I'll see Rubio's $10 Parks, and raise you $10. He’ll vote to defund the whole thing once he learns that Parks was on the board of Planned Parenthood.
  5. Dr. Ben Carson: My mother      Seriously, this is no time for a “Hi Mom!” on the Jumbotron.
  6. Donald J. Trump: Rosa Parks      He won’t allow Ivanka’s image on anything smaller than the $100 bill.
  7. Jeb Bush: Margaret Thatcher      Wow, he’s taking the old man’s New World Order seriously, to the point of advocating world citizenship and abolishing national borders. Except with Mexico.
  8. Scott Walker: Clara Barton      Good choice. Nobody in Wisconsin ever heard of Rosa Parks since they took her out of the history books.
  9. Carly Fiorina: I wouldn’t change the bills      Answer the question. This isn't the HP Annual Meeting.
  10. John Kasich: Mother Teresa      There’s something totally weird about suggesting that the image of someone who took a vow of poverty be put on some mammon.
  11. Governor Chris Christie: Abigail Adams      Strange, but I guess it's a good choice for him since “First Lady Christie” isn’t gonna happen.
None of them picked my choice, Margaret Hamilton, which wouldn't require a change to either the color or name on the bill.


Post a Comment

<< Home