Thursday, February 15, 2007

It's Official - I Am a Snarky Blogger

You Are a Snarky Blogger!

You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of.
And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Today's Oneword - Solo

Go to the OneWord website and write about today's word.

It's Valentine's Day. A good day to not be going through life solo.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

My Favorite Candy Heart

Neal down at the South Pole took the Which Candy Heart are You test, so I thought I'd give it a try. Although my result was First Kiss, just one change resulted in a "Get Real" result. So I'm a slightly cynical romantic, I guess! I'm a romantic at heart, but not a sappy Care Bears Hallmark romantic. I like to create my own greeting cards, and I like to do it when the spirit, not the calendar, moves me!

Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss"

You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship.
You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love.

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you

Your flirting style: friendly and sweet

What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance

Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Mercury Poisoning Takes a Morbid Turn

When I was growing up, we had mercury thermometers. They were made of glass and they were fragile. So they would occasionally break. And when they did, Mom usually dumped out the mercury into a bowl so we could play with it. Little did she know that doing so would subject me to mercury poisoning and turn me into an obsessive-compulsive curmudgeon blogger.

So it's a good thing that I didn't become a mortician, or I might have turned out like Ray Brent Marsh. Marsh, a crematory operator from Ringgold, GA. Marsh admitted to leaving 334 bodies to rot in piles across his property and passing off cement dust as their ashes.

But wait! It's not really Marsh's fault. Lawyer McCracken Poston said he believes Marsh was suffering the effects of long-term exposure to mercury vapors from a poorly built ventilation system at the Tri-State Crematory in northwest Georgia. He said Marsh's behavior, as well as health problems suffered by his late father, crematory founder Ray Marsh, match the effects of exposure to mercury vapors caused by burning dental fillings during cremation. Many dental fillings are made of a compound that includes mercury.

A test on Marsh's hair in 2004 indicated elevated mercury, Poston said.

Maybe I'd better get my hair tested. There's got to be some excuse for this blog...

Friday, February 09, 2007

Forget About Bird Flu - Dog Flu is the Real Problem

Bird Flu - it's a pandemic, sweeping the world. People everywhere are dying. Bodies are piling up. There's nobody to bury them. Bottled water and toilet paper are in short supply.

Oh wait, that's the stuff of fantasy. You can follow the hysteria at the birdflubreakingnews website.

Or, you can come back to reality. Closer to home, the real problem isn't the birds. It's dogs. With flu. According to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, One of America's Great Newspapers, an outbreak of highly contagious canine influenza has swept through the shelter of the Animal Rescue League of Western Pennsylvania, resulting in the deaths of four dogs. Another 23 dogs are sick and are undergoing treatment while shelter employees and volunteers work to keep the virus from spreading.

But there's no dogflubreakingnews website. Which is a bad thing because even Snopes confirms that dog flu is for real and has been spreading through the canine population of the U.S.

Finally, a good reason to stock up on bottled water and toilet paper.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Today's Oneword - Blind

Go to the OneWord website and write about today's word.

I was hoping that today's word would be "futility." I was blind to any opportunities that another word might present.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Super Bowl - Getting Soaked in Miami

It rained at the Super Bowl, but don't worry about Jordan Gardner. He didn't get too wet, and neither did his companion, Katie Lee. They paid $5 each for ponchos at the Super Bowl.

On the other hand, Gardner got soaked for tickets - $5000 for two seats in Section 416, near midfield along the Indianapolis sideline in the upper deck of Dolphin Stadium.

But that's OK, he can afford it. After all, he's a 20-year-old student at DePaul University in Chicago.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Today's Oneword - Cadillac

Go to the OneWord website and write about today's word.

One thing that I never wanted was a Cadillac. They were too big and pretentious. But now I have a Suburban, which is even bigger. It's not a status symbol at all. Or maybe it is, since they cost as much to buy and own as Cadillacs.

Punxsutawney Phil Sees Shadow, Spring Arrives, Teachers Go On Strike

Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania is a happening place. Today, after the recent cold conditions, Punxsutawney Phil has seen his shadow, and Spring is apparently here. Teachers in the Punxsutawney School District have decided to keep on celebrating by calling a strike.

According to an Associated Press article, the teachers of the Punxsutawney Area Education Association have notified the district that they plan to strike beginning Monday, February 4.

All classes will be cancelled until further notice, said Superintendent J. Thomas Frantz.

As for me, the toughest decision is whether to wear my Hawaiian shirt out in subfreezing conditions to tonight's Groundhog Day party.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Today's Oneword - Headstand

Go to the OneWord website and write about today's word.

I'm so glad that Oneword is back. I would like to turn cartwheels or do handstands. But I'm not able to to them. But I can do a headstand, so I'll do that instead.