Thursday, August 30, 2007

Scott's Spot is Rated PG-13


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My Fighting Style - Tang Soo Do


I study Tae Kwon Do, and like Aikido and would like to learn more about Judo, so I'm wondering a bit about this quiz...but here are the results!

You scored as
Tang Soo Do, This is a Korean fighting style that is brutal, yet elegant

Tang Soo Do


83%

Mantis


67%

Kung Fu


67%

KickBoxing


67%

Wrestling


50%

Aikaido


33%

Tae Kwan Do


33%

Karate


17%

Boxing


17%

Judo


0%

Which fighting style is for you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Monday, August 27, 2007

Pittsburgh Steelers Game Breaking News

While the Pittsburgh Tribune Review website provided a recap of preseason game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Philadelphia Eagles, the newly-uglified website of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, One of America's Great Newspapers, reported on a topic that hit web surfers closer to home:


Numerous spectators at tonight's Steelers game who had filled up with food and drinks were prohibited from using some of the restrooms at Heinz Field because of apparent low water pressure.

The problem started around half-time. Some fans attending the Steelers-Philadelphia Eagles game were turned away by stadium staff at the entrance to restrooms while others were told they could use some bathrooms without flushing.


Christine Gaughan, of Brentwood, said she tried to use the ladies room on the 500 level of the stadium, but quickly discovered the toilets weren't functioning.

She said the toilets wouldn't flush and the water fountains weren't working. She said she then went to the first level and again there was no pressure.

The problem affected the men's restrooms as well.
[Hey, that's getting too close to home!]


Mark Currie, of Hopewell, who also attended the game, said the urinals were open but the stalls were closed.

It was unclear how many restrooms at the stadium were affected.

I don't know what I'd do without the Post-Gazette and its hideous website.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Contest - Why Did Joe Hardy Ditch Wife #3!

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, One of America's Great Newspapers (despite its now having America's second ugliest [after cnn.com] news website, has reported that 84 year old 84 Lumber founder Joe Hardy has filed for divorce from his third wife, Kristin Georgi. The couple had married May 5 in Las Vegas, the site of weddings that you can bet won't survive.

Mr. Hardy cited "irreconcilable differences" in the court papers. But that's pretty boring, and we're sure it doesn't tell what Paul Harvey would call "the rest of the story."

So we're going to have a contest here at Scott's Spot to find the real reason the Joe filed for divorce from this 23-year-old vixen. The entire Scott's Spot staff submitted the following starter entries:
  1. Joe fell, and he couldn't get up.
  2. Joe's daughter, current 84 Lumber and Nemacolin Woodlands President Maggie Hardy Magerko, refused to call Kristin "Mom".
  3. Kristin found that "84" refers to the decibel level of Joe's snoring.
  4. Joe has more slumber than lumber.
  5. Kristin drinks all the beer.
  6. Joe found out that Kristin's a romance novel writer.
  7. Kristin's kid called Joe a fat old cradle robber.
  8. Kristin wanted kids and Joe said he wouldn't couldn’t get up at 3 am to change the diapers.
  9. Joe got the hots for Kristin's 17 year old cousin.
  10. Kristin's 17 year old cousin turned Joe down.
OK, now it's your turn. Add your entries to the comments. The winner gets to have all female relatives under 23 interview with Joe for a future position.


Friday, August 17, 2007

Gasp - Hack - Panic!

The New York Times, purveyor of all the news that's fit to print, has reported that children everywhere are being injured by cough and cold medicine. Here at Scott's Spot, we hang on every word published in the New York Times, even though it's too stupid to publish comics. So we're naturally concerned. For example, even though my wife and I have have a combined 112 child-years of experience in raising our kids, we know that we should be phoning our pediatricians every time one of them gets earwax or a hangnail. So we're feeling negligent that we have perhaps administered cough medicine to one or more of our kids outside the guidelines of the Food and Drug Administration's (FDA) litigation mitigation task force.

As a public service, we at Scott's Spot are providing the following guidelines for administering cough medicine to your child:


Saturday, August 11, 2007

Potholes, Manholes, and Bridge Collapses, Oh My!

With the bridge collapse in Minnesota, it has become apparent that we have a problem that is only going to get work. Our nation's infrastructure is poorly maintained and is becoming outdated.

One proposal to improve our roads and bridges was to have a 5-cent gasoline tax. President Bush, who prefers deficit spending to new taxes, suggested that Congress first needs to change its priorities when spending highway money.

Thanks to President Bush, I changed my registration from Republican to Democrat. But I am perfectly happy with his suggestion. We should definitely change our priorities in spending our money:

Stop wasting our money and get the h&!l out of Iraq!