Contest - Why Did Joe Hardy Ditch Wife #3!

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, One of America's Great Newspapers (despite its now having America's second ugliest [after cnn.com] news website, has reported that 84 year old 84 Lumber founder Joe Hardy has filed for divorce from his third wife, Kristin Georgi. The couple had married May 5 in Las Vegas, the site of weddings that you can bet won't survive.

Mr. Hardy cited "irreconcilable differences" in the court papers. But that's pretty boring, and we're sure it doesn't tell what Paul Harvey would call "the rest of the story."

So we're going to have a contest here at Scott's Spot to find the real reason the Joe filed for divorce from this 23-year-old vixen. The entire Scott's Spot staff submitted the following starter entries:

1. Joe fell, and he couldn't get up.
2. Joe's daughter, current 84 Lumber and Nemacolin Woodlands President Maggie Hardy Magerko, refused to call Kristin "Mom".
3. Kristin found that "84" refers to the decibel level of Joe's snoring.
4. Joe has more slumber than lumber.
5. Kristin drinks all the beer.
6. Joe found out that Kristin's a romance novel writer.
7. Kristin's kid called Joe a fat old cradle robber.
8. Kristin wanted kids and Joe said he wouldn't couldn’t get up at 3 am to change the diapers.
9. Joe got the hots for Kristin's 17 year old cousin.
10. Kristin's 17 year old cousin turned Joe down.

OK, now it's your turn. Add your entries to the comments. The winner gets to have all female relatives under 23 interview with Joe for a future position.