Gasp - Hack - Panic!

The New York Times, purveyor of all the news that's fit to print, has reported that children everywhere are being injured by cough and cold medicine. Here at Scott's Spot, we hang on every word published in the New York Times, even though it's too stupid to publish comics. So we're naturally concerned. For example, even though my wife and I have have a combined 112 child-years of experience in raising our kids, we know that we should be phoning our pediatricians every time one of them gets earwax or a hangnail. So we're feeling negligent that we have perhaps administered cough medicine to one or more of our kids outside the guidelines of the Food and Drug Administration's (FDA) litigation mitigation task force.

As a public service, we at Scott's Spot are providing the following guidelines for administering cough medicine to your child: