Michael Jackson Turns 50, Joins AARP

"Those discounts and the subscription to AARP Magazine, which I still prefer to call 'Modern Maturity,' are a real Thriller to me," said Jackson, according to an unnamed source.

John McCain Picks Sarah Palin to be his Dan Quayle

Yet Another Teacher-Student Sex Arrest With a Local Connection

There must be something about being a teacher that makes you crave forbidden relationships with teens. Just a week after Mt. Lebanon High School chemistry teacher Nicholas Salvo was arrested for his relationship with a 14 year old girl, we now read that Autumn Leathers, a Springdale, PA native and 2007 graduate of Slippery Rock University, has been arrested for a months-long sexual relationship with a student that began when he was 15 years old. The pair met where Ms. Leathers (24) taught at Mountain Ridge High School in Frostburg, MD.

It's amazing how many cases of teacher-student sex cases there are. You can read all about them at the Bad Bad Teacher website.

Moon Unit Gets Fired

Fort Hays State University, in Kansas, today said it has dismissed its debate coach, Dr. Bill Shanahan, who pulled down his pants during an obscenity-filled shouting match with his counterpart at the University of Pittsburgh during a national debate competition.

Additionally, the school has ordered the campus debate program suspended pending resolution of what the university described as problems with the activity on the national level.

I haven't followed university debating in recent years, but has mooning become part of the technique? If so, who should moon whom? Should the loser moon the winner as a sign of capitulation, or should the winner do it so show dominance?

Asked whether a Pitt professor's use of profanity in a public setting would be at odds with university policy, Pitt spokesman Mr. Fedele had no immediate comment and said he would inquire further. Which means that profanity is OK, as long is the the user of profanity remains fully clothed.

Pittsburgh, Text Messages, and High Schoolers

OK, you're a high school teacher. You live in or near Pittsburgh. You've got a cell phone and internet access, and some time on your hands. You read in the news about teachers in your situation that are getting fired for hitting on their students. So what do you do? Well, if you're Mt. Lebanon High School chemistry teacher Nicholas Salvo, you use the internet and your cell phone to hit on some students!

Salvo, 34, of Mt. Lebanon, is accused of using the Internet to send sexually explicit photos to someone he believed was a 14-year-old girl. Authorities said Mr. Salvo accessed a teen chat room from his home computer on July 3 and contacted an undercover agent posing as a teen. He allegedly sent her a private message asking what her measurements were and telling, "I like younger girls." And then he sent some photos of his nether regions!

I used to think that my high school teachers were pretty stupid, but this is getting ridiculous!

Usain Bolt - Athlete But Not Sportsman

IOC president Jacques Rogge criticized Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt today for showing a lack of respect to other competitors after his record-breaking gold medal performances in the 100 and 200 meters, according to an Associated Press article.

Probably the key display of his lack of his respect was his showboating in the 100 meter final. He should have respected the event by giving it his all for the full 100 meters. One can only guess what kind of time he could have run.

Usain Bolt is an incredible athlete. I hope that he matures into a great sportsman as well.