Piranhas and the Atkins Diet

OK, you can admit it. You never managed to take off those 10 pounds you put on over the Christmas last year. Neither did we, so we're very supportive at Scott's Spot. In order to help us achieve our common weight loss goals, we put our weight management department on the case, and they've discovered a solution at Amazon.river.

If you're thinking, "What does the Amazon.river have besides piranhas?" then you're asking the right question. You see, the piranha in the wild basically eats every creature in its domain, and that means protein. You haven't seen any fat piranhas because there aren't any. Their diet of pure protein turns them into lean ferocious killing machines capable of stripping a whole dead pig to the bone within minutes. They just eat and eat until they're caught, varnished, and sold as souvenirs.

Contrast this diet with that of the piranhas at the Birmingham Sea Life Centre in England. There, all food is soaked in vitamins to make sure that the red-bellied savages are getting the nutrients they need. However, there is trouble in paradise - the piranhas have had to be put on a diet after piling on the pounds in captivity, according to the Centre's Lynsey Thompson.

Fellow dieters, our path forward is clear. Protein. Pure Protein. Nothing but the Protein. That's what will give us the killer bodies we're hungry for.