The Southern Illinois Hills Are Alive...

From Carbondale, Illinois, comes a strange but true story, destined to change your opinion about the whitetail deer. There, 31-year-old secretary Tammy Emery, who I'll call "Tammy Rae," was among at least seven people threatened or injured by female deer last year on Southern Illinois University's campus - attacks that have prompted the school to wage a safety campaign during this spring's fawning season.

Tammy Rae, taking a shortcut through the woods, was attacked by a doe, possibly trying to protect its fawn. In an instant, the deer knocked her to the ground and delivered a flurry of kicks. Emery, screaming, curled defensively into a ball as the snorting animal rained blows on her, slicing open one of her ears and leaving her with huge bruises and a hoofprint on her hand.

Very distant relatives of Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein are on retainer at Scott's Spot, so with slight apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein, we offer the following sound of music:

Doe, a deer, a female deer
Rae, the secretary said
Me, it charged, it made me run
Far, from where it kicked my head
So, we must quickly enact
Laws across our campus fair
Tea, I drink now but with pain
That was caused by one mad Doe!