Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Want a Healthy Diet? Then Avoid Health Foods!

I've always been suspicious of health foods. Oh sure, I like healthy foods, such as apples, oranges, asparagus, London Broil, A-1 sauce, and cheesecake. I think I've got all the food groups covered there, especially if the cheesecake has a graham cracker crust.

Here's my take on some popular health foods:
  • I like yogurt, but not fat-free yogurt.
  • I like my coffee with half-and-half. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS FAT-FREE HALF-AND-HALF!
  • Butter comes from a cow. It should be spread, never sprayed.
  • No-alcohol beer is like protein-free meat.
  • Milk never comes from soybeans.
  • Herbal tea bags contain flavored dried bad-tasting weeds.
  • And change the name back to "Sugar Frosted Flakes." You're not fooling us.
Now, thanks to the painstaking investigative reporting of the Associated Press, we find out that all those fruits and nuts are, well, for fruits and nuts! Many brands of granola, for example, can be packed with up to 600 calories per cup and are loaded with more sugar than a cup of Cap'n Crunch. Frito Lay's Tostitos Natural Blue Corn Tortilla Chips and the brand's Restaurant Style Tortilla Chips each have 160 calories per serving. Yet people seem to binge on "natural" snacks free of guilt, even though there is virtually no calorie difference in many instances.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm ready for a second bowl of Cap'n Crunch.

4 Comments:

At May 25, 2006, Blogger Neal said...

I like this post. I have always felt that people get sucked in by something being 'natural'. Dog feces are natural, but I don't want to eat them.

 
At May 25, 2006, Blogger Scott said...

I agree 100% on your dog feces observation.

Also, just today I learned that a study has found milk chocolate can boost your brain power. I'm celebrating by picking up a Snickers bar on my way to my afternoon meeting.

 
At May 26, 2006, Blogger Ruthie said...

I just came to your blog via Neal's since he did a tribute to you today. I like what you have written here. I am all for the full-real-deal butter and milk etc. Processed food is pretty much never good for you, no matter if it is gardenburgers or tofu dogs etc. Even if it has less fat that doesn't mean it is "healthy."

 
At May 27, 2006, Blogger Scott said...

Ekki, thanks for your comment. I never had scrambled eggs without added milk before college. I never had whole milk on cereal (the only thing I use milk for) before college. I never had regular butter until I met my (then) future in-laws. I basically think that life is too short to worry about reading all the labels and avoiding things you like, like melty ice cream. Good things in moderation is a good thing!

 

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