Emily Post Meets Oscar Mayer

I don't know how I missed it, but the April 30 edition, of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, one of America's Great Newspapers (hey, they printed it, so it must be true) devoted nearly an entire page to the hot dog, one of America's great foods. Included the following list of hot dog dos and don'ts, courtesy of the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council's Hot Dog Etiquette Guide.

• DO "dress the dog," not the bun.
• DO serve sesame seed, poppy seed and plain buns with hot dogs.
• DO eat hot dogs on buns with your hands. Utensils should not touch hot dogs on buns.
• DO use paper plates to serve hot dogs. Everyday dishes are acceptable; china is a no-no.
• DO serve mustard, relish, onions, cheese and chili as topping options.
• DO lick off -- not wash off -- any condiments remaining on the fingers after eating a hot dog.
• DO use multicolored toothpicks to serve cocktail wieners. Cocktail forks are in poor taste.
• DO put down your hot dog while singing the national anthem.

• DON'T put hot dog toppings between the hot dog and the bun. (Condiments should be applied in the following order: wet condiments such as mustard and chili are applied first onto the dog, not the bun, followed by chunky condiments such as relish, onions and sauerkraut, followed by shredded cheese, followed by spices such as celery salt or pepper.)
• DON'T serve sun-dried tomato buns or basil buns, which are considered gauche with franks.
• DON'T serve fresh herbs on the same plate with hot dogs.
• DON'T use a cloth napkin to wipe your mouth when eating a hot dog. Paper is always preferable.
• DON'T take more than five bites to finish a hot dog. For a foot-long wiener, seven bites are acceptable.
• DON'T leave bits of bun on your plate. Eat it all.
• DON'T use ketchup on your hot dog after the age of 18.
• DON'T send a thank you note after a hot dog barbecue. It would not be in keeping with the unpretentious nature of hot dogs.
• DON'T take wine to a hot dog barbecue. Beer, soda, lemonade and iced tea are preferable.
• DON'T ever think there is a wrong time to serve hot dogs.

Now I don't know about you, but it seems to me that this is a lot to keep in mind. Especially if the hot dogs are served with beer, as is proper. Scott's Spot has developed the following visual aids to help you in such situations:

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DON'T