A Woman With a Problem

Louise Arnold, from Cheltenham, England, has a problem. A serious problem. She has an irrational fear of peas. Not a rational aversion to peas, mind you. An irrational fear, to the extent that if she spots peas on a plate she'll leave a restaurant. Or, she'll have an anxiety attack if she sees them in a supermarket. Which pretty much limits her to the soft drink and kitty litter aisles.

This is a serious problem. And it is NOT related to my phobia of eggplant, which is entirely rational. I do allow eggplant into my house. I just won't eat it. Except in Baba Ghanoush, an eggplant dip which I absolutely adore, since it doesn't taste anything like eggplant. Which I can't say about eggplant parmesan. Or breaded eggplant. Or anything else made of eggplant. Baba Ghanoush is it. Period. My wife makes it during Great Lent. But not yet so far this year.

Anyhow, the stricken Ms. Arnold is now said to be seeing counselors, hypnotherapists and acupuncturists to tackle the phobia which began after the birth of daughter Chloe, five. She should have done more research into the name "Chloe." I just researched the etymology of "Chloe" and found a little-known fact - Chloe is derived from the Anglo-Saxon for "She whose mother is doomed to develop an irrational phobia to peas."

"I can't even go to my local pub because they serve peas on the menu," said Arnold. "I'd love to lead a normal life and be able to go into the pub and have a drink."

Wow! Those are different pubs than those I go to. Personally, I'm steering clear of any pub which serves peas, thinks of serving peas, or, just to be safe, has anything on the menu beginning with the letter P. Fortunately, I have yet to encounter a pub which serves anything derived from eggplant. Maybe that’s why I’ve never seen any business cards for acupuncturists there.