Potent Potables From the Sea

Enophiles worldwide have been buoyed by news from Germany that wine can be made from seaweed. Not only is this wine potent, at 16% alchohol, but it's also tasty and good for you!


Dr. Inez Linke, a marine biologist and nauticavinter extrordinaire, says that the wine, made from the brown laminaria saccharina seaweed, tastes like a fine sherry and is extremely healthy. "Marine algae contains many minerals, salts, vitamins and proteins that makes this particular wine extremely healthy and boosts the immune system," said Dr Linke.

I'm all for that, but Dr. Linke isn't going to sell much of the stuff without a significant marketing effort. And that's where Scott's Spot enters the picture. I submitted this to our marketing department, and they've come up with the following:

1. Some portion of the wine should be distilled into a drink that we're going to call Te-sea-la.
2. Offer a vacation experience for home winemakers. Imagine it - you're on a boat, scuba diving for the seaweed you're going to use to make your own wine.
3. Establish seaweed beds in offshore wind farms. This will make the wind farms more acceptable to local residents, who will see an economic benefit from the wineries.
4. Develop a slogan that will appeal to the target demographic group. We plugged "Seaweed Wine" into the Sloganizer, and got "Be young, have fun, taste Seaweed Wine."

To your health! Santé! Prosit!