A Deep Seated Hatred of Wal-Mart

That has to be the sentiment of a 20-year-old Salisbury, MD man, who was found by a Wal-Mart employee in the bathroom Sunday night after he sat down and was glued to the toilet seat.

According to Lt. Cheryl Rantz of the Salisbury Police Department, the man, whose name was not released, was banging on the wall when an employee came in. The man was taken to the hospital late Sunday night, where he was treated and released. "We're awaiting chemical analysis results," said Rantz. "But we're fairly certain that the perpetrator used Sam's Choice Crazy Glue. With Walmart's Always Low Prices^TM for that stuff, it's kind of hard not to put it on toilet seats."

The Wal-Mart employee who found the unfortunate man was suspended following rumors that he had neglected to wash his hands following his visit to the bathroom. A company spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity, said "Good Samaritan or not, our policy is for employees to wash hands before their return to work. It's the Wal-Mart way."