How To Get Your Wife Back

The unthinkable happens. Your wife runs off with another man. There's nothing you can do about it, right? Well, maybe not, if you use your head. Or the head of a nearby bovine.

Jason Michael Fife, of Hunker, Pennsylvania, decided to mail a bloody cow's head to his wife's lover. Mr. Fife obtained the cow's head from a butcher's shop, claiming he wanted the dried skull for decoration. Instead, he mailed the head frozen, so as not to alert parcel carriers to the contents, police said. The box became bloody after sitting on the victim's doorstep on a warm day.

Oopsie.

Fife "understands that in a civilized society a person cannot send a severed cow's head to anybody," said his defense lawyer, Henry Hilles.

He was sentenced to a program for first-time offenders in which he must complete two years of probation and 50 hours of community service. If he successfully finishes the program, his record will be cleared.

But even if his record isn't cleared, Fife got what he wanted - He and his wife, who have a young child, later reconciled, Mr. Hilles said.

No Bull!