Joe Hardy "I Do Not Choose To Run"

Joe Hardy, the 84-year-old 84 Lumber founder, Nemacolin Woodlands developer, and two time cradle robber, has pulled the plug on his three year political career as a Fayette County Commissioner.

Hardy's campaign manager and spokesman, Jeff Nobers, broke the news to reporters. Scott's Spot heard the announcement via a Verizon Wireless cell phone. It may be America's largest network, but the sound quality is atrocious at times. Here's what we heard Mr. Nobers say:

"Joe Hardy is always looking for results. After divorcing Dorothy, his wife of over fifty years, who gave him 5 children, he married Debra Maley, 26, who gave him 2 children. Then, after marrying Kristin Georgi, 22, in May, no children were forthcoming, so he filed for divorce.

"And it's the same thing in politics. Joe is an impatient man. He wants results in politics just like he does in fathering. If he can't get quick results, he redirects his efforts to something different. Joe will now has his sights on the Iraq war. 'In 3 weeks we'll have won the war, established the peace, and our troops will be home,' he told me just yesterday. After that, he intends to pay for voice coaching for President Bush so that the American people never have to hear the word 'noo-kyoo-ler' again."

I might even support Joe Hardy if he can achieve that goal.