Bird Flu Succumbs to Company Management Dictate

Just when it seemed that bird flu hysteria had flown, er, blown over, I have now had the opportunity to witness a case of delayed-onset hysteria. Yes, you probably guessed it - my company has now come out with an avian flu, er, pandemic flu website. You see, 327 people worldwide have now been diagnosed with avian flu in the years since the H5N1 virus was first identified. That's a pandemic in anyone's book, and It's enough to make anybody become a recluse.

OK, let's get back on topic. I would like to provide the Scott's Spot condensed version of my company's pandemic influenza website:

The avian flu pandemic poses a risk to the continued management of the company. Therefore, it is the policy of the company that employees shall donate their hard fought stores of bottled water and toilet paper to company executives and key personnel.