Duct Tape - The Dermatologist's Secret Weapon. Or Not.

You never know what to think about the latest medical study. First, you had to drink red wine in moderation. But then, we learn that you should drink to your heart's content.

But what about the part of beauty that is only skin deep? What about warts? First, we have the results of a study, reported in the October 2002 issue of the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine. indicating that duct tape is a more effective, less painful alternative to liquid nitrogen, which is used to freeze warts.

But now, we have a contradictory Dutch study, also published in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine, concluding that duct tape does not work any better than doing nothing to cure warts in schoolchildren.

It's a contradiction, and it needs to be resolved. Fortunately, conflict resolution is one of our specialties here at Scott's Spot. In the spirit of dermatologic health, we're waiving our customary fees and offering the following analysis:

1. We can personally confirm that Liquid Nitrogen cryotherapy doesn't work on warts.
2. We can personally confirm that children, the subjects of both studies, are notoriously unreliable.
3. We can never find the duct tape when we need it.
4. Duct tape is not covered by our prescription plan, nor can we get it reimbursed with our flexible spending plan. However it is less than the $15 co-payment for generic drugs.
5. Therefore, the next time we get a wart, we're going to try removing it with duct tape, unless the price of the tape goes over $15.
6. Then, if it doesn't work, we'll go to the dermatologist and insist on getting the thing lasered off.
7. It'll be another year until duct tape becomes our HMO's only approved wart removal therapy.