Scott's Spot - Good or Evil?

One of our objectives here at Scott's Spot's is to entertain our readers by providing crusty commentary and a humorous spin on selected news tidbits. But we're always left with the question of if we're doing good in the process. And what standards are we to apply in defining good? Weighty subject matter for a Saturday afternoon, and we're too lazy to consider it here. Fortunately, the beauty of the internet is that someone else has done it for us.

That's right! Scott's Spot has discovered The Gematriculator, which is a service that uses the infallible methods of Gematria developed by Mr. Ivan Panin to determine how good or evil a web site or a text passage is.

Basically, Gematria is searching for different patterns through the text, such as the amount of words beginning with a vowel. If the amount of these matches is divisible by a certain number, such as 7 (which is said to be God's number), there is an incontestable argument that the Spirit of God is ever present in the text. Another important aspect in gematria are the numerical values of letters: A=1, B=2 ... I=9, J=10, K=20 and so on. The Gematriculator uses Finnish alphabet, in which Y is a vowel.

Experts consider the mathematical patterns in the text of the Holy Bible as God's watermark of authenticity. Thus, the Gematriculator provides only results that are absolutely correct.

Wow! Finally, the goodness of Scott's Spot can be evaluated with objective truth. So, we took each month's archive, plugged it into the Gematriculator, averaged the results and came up with the following:

Stated differently:

For those of you who prefer a few statistics with their absolute truth, we ranged from 50% good (June) to 77% good (March). That's all I can do without getting out my trusty HP-15C.

What this means is that we're on the good side of average, but it probably means you should shield young children from Scott's Spot until they are old enough to enjoy the humor of Demotivators posters at the despair.com website. Thanks for understanding.