Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Childhood Obesity - Cured!

OK, OK, maybe that's a bit optimistic. But we're closer to having a cure, thanks to Indiana State University Physical Education professor John Ozmun, and graduate student Lee Robbins. They recently conducted a study that showed that kids carrying 3 pound blocks expended more energy than kids who carried unweighted blocks. Thus, the following ratio is established:


That makes perfect sense. It's amazing that we had to spend thousands of dollars of research funds to confirm this apparently revolutionary idea. But I can tell you that this had never been considered by product developers at companies like Mattel and Hasbro. Products like "Lead-Filled Lincoln Logs" and "Thomas the Big Little Tank Engine" and "Fattington Bear" are under development and should be ready for the upcoming Christmas holiday season.

Before investing in this hot new product category, we at Scott's Spot checked with our child psychologist, who sounded a clarion call of alarm. "What kind of mixed messages are you trying to send to little Timmy? In order for him to get his exercise, you want him to lug around a fat bear? That will further reinforce the image that being fat is healthy, when it's not. Better for him to have a skinny bear and develop the proper image of what his self should look like."

Scott's Spot is currently looking for a good child psychologist.

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