Friday, September 29, 2006

New Hampshire Killer Bear Held Without Bail

A New Hampshire bear is being held without bail tonight on suspicion of causing 2500 trout deaths. The bear, who is currently identified only as "Teddy," was pulled from a pool at a Fish and Game Department hatchery near Milford, New Hampshire, earlier this month.

Hatcheries supervisor Robert Fawcett said the bear, clad only in a tie and a matching yellow rain slicker and hat, is believed to be the first stuffed toy to cause fatalities at the facility.

The deaths prompted Fawcett to release a written warning: "RELEASE OF ANY TEDDY BEARS into the fish hatchery water IS NOT PERMITTED."

New Hampshire Fish and Game Department officials downplayed speculation that ursine profiling measures have been instituted. "Sure, 'Teddy' was dressed perfectly for the crime, but that doesn't mean that we can prevent bears from visiting the hatchery just because they're dressed for foul weather," Department official and noted author Stan Berenstain said.


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