Saturday, March 04, 2006

How to Profit From Deadly Bird Flu

I'm not normally inclined to give out stock tips, but I'm feeling generous and I can only spend so much money in my lifetime. Besides, there is plenty of money to be made on this one. I'm talking cat litter. Specifically, French cat litter. All companies in the French cat litter supply chain are going to be striking it rich over at least the next few months. The reason? Bird Flu, more commonly known as Deadly Bird Flu.

Deadly bird flu has made its way to the Bresse region of France, and cat owners have been asked to keep their cats indoors, due to a German cat having been infected and dying from the malady. And while this is bad news for Jacques, Danielle, and Tabby, it's great news for you. Because you're going to invest in companies that stand to profit from this unfortunate turn of events.

There are a couple of ways to get in on this action. The first is to invest in cat litter companies themselves. I'm thinking of companies like Nestlé, which owns the Tidy Cats brand name. They're based in Switzerland but do a lot of business in France.

Or, you can go right to the source. Clumping cat litters use clays called bentonite and montmorillonite. In fact, montmorillonite was discovered in the Montmorillon area of France. Süd-Chemie is a global company that produces montmorillonite in France.

And while you're at it, you'd better figure on Tabby having some accidents or missing the box. Trust me, I know this from experience. This means you should pick up some 3M stock. 3M makes Scotchgard stain remover and other pet care products.

On the other hand, you might not trust the results of my painstaking research. If that's the case, feel free to pay $1340 for a professional report on "Pet Food and Pet Care Products in France" from Euromonitor International.

And remember, while you're sitting there counting your hard-earned profits, remember the plight of the confined kitties who suffered to make you rich. Here's a photo of our cat, Nebula, who likes to talk to the birds, but hasn't a prayer of ever catching one before she goes to the great big litter box in the sky.


One more thing. If you're a French cat owner, there's another good reason to keep Tabby indoors. You don't want her outside when Cheney's Bird Squads come around. See my previous post for details. C'est un mauvais temps pour être un chat français.

1 Comments:

At March 04, 2006, Blogger Neal said...

I just put in an order for 100 shares of all of the companies mentioned. I'm going to be rich because of indoor kitty poo.

 

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